So, here's an update. Sorry about being so long in posting this. Things have been crazy, and I'm not yet in the habit of updating a blog.
I got in contact with the mission board at my church, asking for support, and they had me submit information: my calling, the ministry I would do, and whatever else I thought I should include, like a resume. So, I typed up a 6-page paper that covered my spiritual journey, my current calling, any my job and volunteer history. I had one of the full-time staff members here edit it for me, which she did an excellent job on, and sent it to them. This was the beginning of February. I got an email in return saying that they'd be discussing me "later this month."
So, at the end of February when I still hadn't heard back from them, I sent the head of the board an email asking when they were meeting, to make sure I hadn't been forgotten. Then, I went into one of the worst weekends I'd had in a long time. Friday was just stressful in general because I had way more going on than normal, and therefore had no time to relax, and I got several things dumped on me at the last minute. Then I crashed my car into a snowbank, and that's when I started crying. :)
On Saturday evening, I was watching the movie with my cabin of campers that I was counseling for the weekend, and I got a call. Although I didn't have the number in my phone, I knew that I was supposed to know it, so I hurried back into the kitchen to answer it. It was the head of the mission board, telling me that they weren't able to support me.
There were a couple reasons for this. The main one is simply that they have a policy that anyone they support must be under a mission board somewhere. Also, they don't have much room in the budget, and aren't looking to do any mission work in Honduras. I thanked him for his time and for looking at me, and he was very encouraging, reminding me that God's will happens no matter what, and that he'd keep me in his prayers. I thought I was ok, because I saw it as no big deal. Then I hung up the phone and started crying.
I pulled myself together quickly and returned to my cabin, looking after my 11 girls. That night, in the darkness and silence, all my fears crashed down, and I wept quietly on my bunk, careful to not alert any of the girls that I was crying. I felt lost, and no longer knew what I was supposed to do. Eventually, my exhaustion took over and I fell asleep.